In Daddy's Words...

Daddy Trae has agreed to let Mommy April interview him about parenting, lil’ Woop Woop’s growth so far, and her impending arrival.

You already have three wonderful children. What made you want to have another with me?

For starters, because you’re younger than me, I wouldn’t want to deny you that life experience, and I know how amazing a mother you would be.

And I still feel young and youthful, and I feel like I’ve learned a lot as a parent, and all that combined could only lead to setting our baby up for success.

And also, it’s just fun. I love being a Dad and more importantly, I feel like you and me as partners can help contribute to the world by raising children together.

What has this pregnancy been like for you?

Mm, because of the past miscarriages, it’s been predicated with a lot of gratitude. But, it’s been a healthy balance between excitement and fear and compassion for what you’re going through.

And mystery. There’s always the mystery of who’s this person about to show up in our lives, what will they look like? Who will they become? What’s their personality? What do they like to eat? What’s funny to them? what do they want to do with their life? The mystery that’s constantly unfolding through the years of childhood and young adulthood, and even later on in life when they’re adults.

What has been the most beautiful part of the pregnancy so far?

Each ultrasound and each re-affirmation that the pregnancy is viable and that we’ve overcome all the signs of anything being wrong or going wrong, or pending for being wrong. And, just seeing you experience it as someone who’s experienced it before but seeing all the new experiences that you’re going through, and also watching you grow as a woman in all the aspects surrounding the pregnancy and in general. Becoming a mother figure, not just for our baby but for our friends and our animals and each other – for me, you know. Seeing you transform into a mother. And also, seeing how you really used your faith to get us here.

…the most challenging?

The most challenging part of the pregnancy was what happened before that. The pregnancy of part has been all cake, all gravy because there were signs that suggested we would never get here. Other than seeing you go through the somatics of it, it’s been all reward. With also the fear—"is it possible anything could be wrong?” And, the inevitable change that’s going to happen in our daily lives, and how we respond to that and how it affects other parts of our life.

What are you most excited about the baby’s arrival?

The baby’s arrival. That kinda says it all right there!

Just knowing how a baby lights up the world around them and seeing everyone in our sphere of influence light up as a result of our baby coming into the world. Your mom, you, me, Zach, our friends, my Mom, my sisters. The smile that the baby inevitably will put on their faces, and the joy that she will bring them.

And the cats – how the cats are going to respond! I wanna see that. I wanna see Solomon’s "Whoa Face" when he sees her.

What are you most curious to know about lil’ Woop Woop?

Um, God… there’s so many things!

Her name.

What do you think she’ll be like?

Well, if she’s anything like us, she’ll be a good balance of calm and excitable. She’ll be musical, funny, pretty, smart and objective. She’ll be engaged in community and friendship and she’ll be curious, and an explorer of the world.

That’s if she’s anything like us. But she might be the opposite of all those things. She might just be really normal—like, acutely normal in an effort to rebel against us. (laughing)

What kind of Mom do you think I will be? What are the strengths you see in me already, and what do you think will be most challenging for me?

I think you’ll be very understanding and patient. I think you’ll be compassionately pushing her forward. I think you’ll be funny around her and silly and like to dance, and you’ll be very protective.

And you’ll want to show her really strange things. You’ll encourage her to explore the property and the outside, and getting out there with her to show her new things.

And you’ll be a great provider for her, and a great role model. I think she’ll really look up to you.

What do you think will be most challenging for me?

I think with every parent, it’s challenging to learn how to let them drive their life at any point. I think for you, it might even be challenging for you to learn how to be away from her. Like if you have to go to Chicago for a couple days.

What are some traditions you want to carry on with our child that you had growing up, or that you created with Zach, Ella & Kerry?

Plate taco night from my childhood. Friday after school cussing hour. The naked parade after bath-time. Family bed. Sleepovers. Playing music together. Night at grandparent’s house.

Also from my childhood – working together. Having the house be where all of the children’s friends feel they can come to at any time.

What are some things you want to do differently?

Hmmm... (makes face) Not get divorced.

What are the things you are glad you’ve learned about parenting, that you know will come in super handy as we give birth to and raise our daughter?

How resilient they are, and how unbreakable they can be. How to keep their self-determinism intact, and how to change diapers. How to turn them into a burrito with their blanket! (laughing) How to throw them up in the air without hitting their head on the ceiling.

How has being a parent made you grow as a person?

I feel like, being a parent, there’s so many ways you grow as a result of it. Ultimately, there’s just this very small number of people on the planet that are your people forever. And before that you don’ understand that. You feel like your friendships are going to last for ever or people

But it’s the only permanent relationship, and that can cause so many offshoots of growth.

Also, I guess I really understood—this sounds cliché, but it made me really appreciate my parents. I grew toward my parents more after I had kids, because I really understood the sacrifices and compromises and responsibility that they put into raising me and my siblings. So it gave me a lot of insight into who they were as people and why they were who they were.

Finally, what is your deepest, greatest wish for our daughter?

To be happy. To create unshakeable happiness for herself.

Are there any questions you wish I’d asked you?

No. Those were good ones.